I am scared of love. There. I said it.
I have spent years building secret walls around my heart. (None shall pass. NONE SHALL PAAAAAASS!!) I always thought I did this for a couple reasons. One, I have never seen a healthy loving relationship that lasted up close. I don’t think this has made me jaded as much as it has shown me that even true love takes a lot of work and most people are lazy. That is not a good combination for a high success rate. And I HATE failure. Second, I was (and am) afraid of rejection. In order to truly love someone, you have to let them see you for who you really are. The good and the bad. Sometimes I pick my nose in the car and wipe it under the seat. (See. Who wants to spend their life with that?) I am afraid that I will show someone the clearest picture of who I am and they will still reject it. Then I would have to ask, “Is there not enough good or beauty in me to make me worthy of love?” (Please understand that I know God has made me wonderfully and knows me better than I know myself and loves me fully. But do not be so quick to forget that man is an irrational creature swayed by emotion and insecurity.)
Yesterday I found a third reason.
Love is the great light. Loving another may not reveal anything about them, but it always reveals something about you. I know now that if I truly and deeply loved another it would reveal a great deal about my true nature. What you do and say each day with someone you love reveals your true character. Love forgives and this creates the opportunity for sin. Anger, jealousy, selfishness, laziness, and so much more is often given more room to grow in the confines of love. If I choose to love, this great light will shine brighter on my life and I am afraid of what it will reveal. I am afraid that after I see myself in this light that knows no shadows, I may not love myself. I have seen glimpses of what my nature can produce and it makes me cry out with all my heart to let me decrease and Jesus increase.
All this introspection has made me wonder about our culture. Have people subconsciously realized this fact about love? Is that why this culture has become so distant and closed off? Maybe people have learned that if they stop and try to help those in need, it will just highlight how little they actually care for others. Maybe people know deep down that if stop to listen to someone they will have to see how little patience they truly have?
Although the light of love can be a scary thing, it is meant to bring about change. God loves us the way we are. But He also loves us enough to know that we will be happier when we are more like Him. When loves shines on us it offers the opportunity see the things inside us that need to change. It can be hard to see the ugliest parts of your self, but without seeing them, we will never become what we were created to be.
Showing posts with label Christian. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Christian. Show all posts
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Saturday, August 21, 2010
The Other Side of the Door
It is hard to imagine a world without electricity. My very ability to share these worlds relies on electricity in multiple ways. Yet only 200 years ago everyone on Earth still lived this “backwards” way of living. Even today an estimated 1.6 billion people still live without electricity.
My perspective on electricity got changed when I read a book and electricity was compared God. I grew up in a Christian believing family and have been going to church for as long as I can remember. This is a gift from God, but at the same time it is hard for me to truly know what life is like for those who have never known what it is like to have a relationship with God. I have many friends who are not saved and I can relate to them, enjoy their company, share life with them, but I cannot fully put myself in their shoes. It’s like growing up in a house with electricity. I can understand what it is like to live without electricity, but until I live without it I can never know what that truly means. I can understand that you would have go out and chop down a tree with an ax and bring the wood back to cook with and stay warm, but until my life is reliant on me doing that everyday I will never know how that affects my mind, my emotions, and my view of the reality of life.
This deep disconnect with those who have not experienced an encounter with God has always posed a problem for me. I know that part of my job as a Christian is to share this great gift with those who do not have it. This process can be very awkward. For a long time I thought the only to do this was to go out and tell them. I was the electricity salesman. I would do my duty and knock on doors to share all the great benefits of electricity. I just never took the time to wonder what it was like from the other side of the door.
From the other side of the door I was the hundredth person to show up “selling” all the great things electricity had to offer.
Feeling lonely? Christ will bring you peace! Are you sick? Jesus is the great healer! Is life too hard for you? Jesus can make all your troubles go away! All this for the low low price of total submission, weekly attendance in your local church, and 10% of your income. It’s a steal!
I was the used car salesman that would tell them whatever they wanted to hear so that they would buy the product. And I was not the only one trying to sell. Some people don’t buy because they are afraid of change. Some people don’t buy because they don’t believe the product will do what it says. Some people won’t buy because they are not willing to give up what it takes to get it. Some people won’t buy just because you smell.
Then I read two sentences that changed my life. They are found in Mathew chapter 13. Jesus tells this short story. “The kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it.” In these two sentences I found a new way to live and share the beauty of God’s love.
Right away I noticed that the merchant was never “sold” the pearl. There was no sales pitch, no bartering, no back and forth. He saw something with a value that was so obvious that none of that was needed. The only question that remained was “Are you willing to give up what it takes to obtain it?” And the only one who asked that question was the merchant to himself.
This is the ultimate challenge for me. All the luxuries I have by being plugged into the “electricity” of God, like peace, wisdom, strength, and joy, are easy for me to see, but am I inviting others into my life so that they see them as well? And am I living the life that they would want? I have been given the advantage of electricity, but how am I using it? I want to live my life in such a way that the closer people get, the more they see the value of it. That is not an easy undertaking. I need to use that electricity to do some home repair. And instead of going to their homes to tell them how much better it would be with electricity, I want to invite them to mine to share the life I live. I believe if I do it right they will clearly see the “value of the pearl.”
Many people without electricity have seen the lights through the windows and wondered. They have heard the laughter from inside the house. Don’t wait until they are all the way home. Stop them. Invite them in. Show them the other side of the door.
My perspective on electricity got changed when I read a book and electricity was compared God. I grew up in a Christian believing family and have been going to church for as long as I can remember. This is a gift from God, but at the same time it is hard for me to truly know what life is like for those who have never known what it is like to have a relationship with God. I have many friends who are not saved and I can relate to them, enjoy their company, share life with them, but I cannot fully put myself in their shoes. It’s like growing up in a house with electricity. I can understand what it is like to live without electricity, but until I live without it I can never know what that truly means. I can understand that you would have go out and chop down a tree with an ax and bring the wood back to cook with and stay warm, but until my life is reliant on me doing that everyday I will never know how that affects my mind, my emotions, and my view of the reality of life.
This deep disconnect with those who have not experienced an encounter with God has always posed a problem for me. I know that part of my job as a Christian is to share this great gift with those who do not have it. This process can be very awkward. For a long time I thought the only to do this was to go out and tell them. I was the electricity salesman. I would do my duty and knock on doors to share all the great benefits of electricity. I just never took the time to wonder what it was like from the other side of the door.
From the other side of the door I was the hundredth person to show up “selling” all the great things electricity had to offer.
Feeling lonely? Christ will bring you peace! Are you sick? Jesus is the great healer! Is life too hard for you? Jesus can make all your troubles go away! All this for the low low price of total submission, weekly attendance in your local church, and 10% of your income. It’s a steal!
I was the used car salesman that would tell them whatever they wanted to hear so that they would buy the product. And I was not the only one trying to sell. Some people don’t buy because they are afraid of change. Some people don’t buy because they don’t believe the product will do what it says. Some people won’t buy because they are not willing to give up what it takes to get it. Some people won’t buy just because you smell.
Then I read two sentences that changed my life. They are found in Mathew chapter 13. Jesus tells this short story. “The kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it.” In these two sentences I found a new way to live and share the beauty of God’s love.
Right away I noticed that the merchant was never “sold” the pearl. There was no sales pitch, no bartering, no back and forth. He saw something with a value that was so obvious that none of that was needed. The only question that remained was “Are you willing to give up what it takes to obtain it?” And the only one who asked that question was the merchant to himself.
This is the ultimate challenge for me. All the luxuries I have by being plugged into the “electricity” of God, like peace, wisdom, strength, and joy, are easy for me to see, but am I inviting others into my life so that they see them as well? And am I living the life that they would want? I have been given the advantage of electricity, but how am I using it? I want to live my life in such a way that the closer people get, the more they see the value of it. That is not an easy undertaking. I need to use that electricity to do some home repair. And instead of going to their homes to tell them how much better it would be with electricity, I want to invite them to mine to share the life I live. I believe if I do it right they will clearly see the “value of the pearl.”
Many people without electricity have seen the lights through the windows and wondered. They have heard the laughter from inside the house. Don’t wait until they are all the way home. Stop them. Invite them in. Show them the other side of the door.
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