My Stop With God

Ralph Waldo Emmerson once wrote, “If the stars should appear one night in a thousand years, how would men believe and adore, and preserve for many generations the remembrance of the city of God which had been shown.” I disagree. Man has been cursed with a short memory. I know because I am one.

Life has a certain way of taking something that is so clear in one moment and covering it up in the next. My problem is that the second I lose sight of it, I can’t remember what it was truly like or how to find it again. This is a struggle I face over and over again in my relationship with God. My walk with God can many times be better described as my stop with God. The relationship that defines my existence has a tendency to get lost in the midst of that very same existence. The world that I am forced to walk through leaves it’s grease and grime over the most fundamental part of my life. As I attempt to fix this problem I don’t struggle with complacency nearly as much as I struggle with my approach.

I get sick of the muck covering my heart so I try to wipe it away, but I only succeed in blurring what’s underneath even more. As I said before the problem was not a lack of effort, but a bad approach. I always tried to find my way back to the heart of God in my strength. I would study harder to try to understand Him more. (How foolish am I trying to understand a God I cannot even fully comprehend?) That inevitably fails. So I try to love people to make it back to God, but the motive of my heart is clear to Him and the immovable will not be so easily manipulated. In a last ditch effort I pout, hoping God will have pity on such a poor soul. The Father is far too great a parent to encourage good results from bad actions. The more I tried the more blurred it became.

After all of this a friend gave me the best advice I have heard in a long time. She said, “Maybe if you stop trying to analyze God, He could reveal Himself to you.” (Light bulb moment!) God is not a mystery to be solved. He is not a boss waiting for you to complete an assignment. He is not a Father who sacrifices the long term to satisfy the short term. He is God.

I am going take that advice. I am going to seek Him just to be with Him. The bad news is I tried to fix it the only ways I knew how and learned I didn’t know how to fix it. But thanks to a friend, today I remembered the good news and that is that I don’t have to know how to fix it. I just have to remember to find the One who does.

The question

I love good questions. To me a good question is far better than a good answer. A good answer is like the route you take to work everyday. I t does not change much. But a good question is like the beginning of an uncharted path. You never know what amazing places it can take you.

This week my pastor asked his grandson Brady a question I had never thought to ask before. He asked him, “What do you think Jesus is thankful for?” Brady shouted, “Me!” without even thinking about it.

I began to walk down the path of this question in my mind and think of what in this dark hurting world Jesus is thankful for. I thought about how He is probably thankful for the man or woman who gives money to the homeless person begging on the corner because He knows that compassion is more important than what is done with the gift. I thought He is probably thankful for the churches that come together to seek Him because He knows that love and worship are more important than having the correct theology. I thought He is probably thankful for those who held their tongues when everything inside them wanted to complain, or insult, or prove their point because He knows that sometimes no action is the greatest action of all.

As I began to think about all the things God is thankful for it brought to mind more questions. How many things do I do that God is thankful for? Am I giving enough? Do I have enough faith? Do I love people the way I should? I began to think about how fall short I fall from the man I should be. I thought about all the times I let my mind wander where it should not go. I thought about how lazy I can be. I thought about how I want to be right at all costs. I thought about how little I do that God can look down from heaven on and be thankful for.

I want to do better. I want to be better. But I finally reached the end of this path and do you know what I found? I had good answers, but Brady had a better one. God loves the things we do to show His love and build His character in our lives, but not nearly as much as He loves us just for who we are. Regardless of what you have or have not done, if you asked God what He is most thankful for His answer would always be you.