Tuesday, May 18, 2010

He is Jealous For Me

It’s been a long time since I have been on a date. When you are over the age of 25 and not married it’s hard not to think about that a lot. And the absolute worst thing you can hear is someone trying to give you “wisdom” by saying that love comes when you stop looking for it. I just want to tell them, “Great! Stop breathing. God will give you air when you stop trying to inhale it.”

This morning in worship we sang the Kim Walker song “How He Loves Us.” The first words are “He is jealous for me.” He is jealous for me. I’ve heard that about God, but understanding it and experiencing it are two totally different things. As I was singing the song God began to reveal something about my nature and His. I am not normally in the habit of questioning God’s will, but when it comes to being single I want to know why. I want to know why because if I know the “why” I can figure out a solution and fix this “problem.” Is it me God? Am I not ready? Is it her? Am I destined to be single forever? God has made a habit of ignoring these questions, but this morning He began to show me His perspective a little bit.

I have loved God for a long time. When times are hard I love God like a parent. I look to Him for strength and help. When times are good I love God like a friend. We laugh together and live life with passion. But to be totally honest, I have never let the part of me that wants a wife to fall in love with God. The concept of romance with God can be tough for guys. I think of the romantic process with girls in stages. It goes first date, hold hands, kiss, meet friends, meet the parents, get engaged, and then get married. How do I translate that with God? How do I learn to love Him like that? The how may be different for everyone but the why is the same.

God will never bring me something that I will love above Him, but even this He does for my benefit. He knows that apart from Him there is no fulfillment or peace. God always looks at things with a long-term perspective. He does not want to just spend my life with me, He wants to spend eternity with me. It’s much easier for people to tolerate sin (especially if it’s something we want) because we cannot see the end result of where it leads. God not only sees our actions and intentions, but He sees the ultimate result of where they lead. It’s like a cook who is chopping up vegetables with a very sharp knife. The cook sees the delicious vegetables being sliced, but God sees the pain that will come to the hand holding them if the action is continued. God will not give me a better job if He knows that when He does I will no longer rely on Him when I get it. And God will not bring me my wife if He knows she will take His place as the first love in my heart. And as hard as that can seem, I am truly grateful for that because what do I gain by a life of happiness if I lose an eternity of joy?

Tonight I have a date. We are going to dinner and then for a long walk to get to know each other. Tonight I have a date with God. I have no doubt that as I learn more about Him I will fall more in love with Him. I just need to open that part of my heart and commit the time I would to anyone I would fall in love with. I am excited to start this journey. So I finally found love. But it was not because I stopped looking for it. I just started looking in the right place.